We have all read those fairy tales where the male ideal is a prince charming who delivers us from imprisonment, poverty or toxic domination. Alain Héril, sex therapist and author, tells us that we have returned to a fixed image of love because of the Internet. In 1968, we fought against the inequality of women to obtain a true place for everyone. Today, we are more than ever victims of the myths of love. It is therefore essential to prevent the myth of Prince Charming on dating sites. To do this, it is important to understand first what women are looking for in the myth of Prince Charming. Then how to detach oneself from this belief of love to be confident on dating sites and not be disappointed?
Women and the male ideal
We all have a male ideal in our dreams of love but should we stay in this search that has nothing realistic. How many women have I heard say that this man corresponded to them at the beginning and then are finally disappointed because reality has taken over.
In any case, there is no ideal. The truth is that women are looking for their male double. This is when we become victims of the myth of the perfect man, the Prince Charming we hope to meet. The risk in this kind of behavior is that our search is only turned towards ourselves and no longer towards the other.
It is then that as soon as there is a difficulty with the partner we have met, as soon as there is a conflict, the relationship will stop immediately. There is no more overcoming of the trials. One flees and wants only the ideal of a romantic story without hitch. Women and the male ideal do not create the essence of love. It is only an appearance that will inevitably lead to disillusionment.
Behind this attitude of the quest for Prince Charming, we are unable to handle the slightest frustration. We remain in the only impatience that everything goes perfectly without conflict. The partner must be smooth all over and above all not respond in opposition. This is a distorted and disturbing ideal for authentic love.
However, on dating applications it is indeed this image of the ideal love that is sent back for women and men. But if I stick to women, we notice the multitude of suitors on dating applications. They are spoilt for choice, which makes them demanding and impatient to find the perfect profile for them.
Seduction plays its role. Women seduce, please and men fall at their feet. It is then very difficult for a man to admit his few physical defects. He is afraid not to please and to be thrown away at first sight.
There is therefore in this myth of Prince Charming a real risk of imbalance between men and women. Women can very quickly take over and give love a fixed image without soul.
They can sometimes go further. Indeed, some women can excite the other partner in a very important way and end up not going to the sexual act for example. They leave the man in an extreme disappointment where he believed that it could have been possible after having shared complicity and intimacy.
These promises of sexuality are commonplace on dating sites. It is therefore necessary to be very careful with these women who want a Prince Charming and who in fact seduce several men at the same time to find a match for their feet.
This behavior provokes and shocks some men.
So we have both these women who play on several boards to find Prince Charming and then there are those who have checked all the criteria that could correspond to their search for the ideal man and who ultimately realize that this myth of Prince Charming is only a projection of their fantasies.
How to detach oneself from this belief of love in order to be confident on dating sites and not be disappointed?
Learning to detach oneself from the myth of Prince Charming is to know what we deeply aspire to in the end. It is not a matter of selecting boxes on a dating site to find your soul mate. It is necessary above all to know who we are personally and what we put behind the word love.
In order to have confidence on dating sites and not be disappointed, you need to have a sufficiently authentic knowledge of yourself not to play with yourself and with the other person.
Love is an encounter with otherness. What would be the point of finding someone who is our male double? Human correspondences certainly allow us to live activities together, to share common values about life. However, what defines love is this capacity to welcome in our heart another person different from us, a person who will make us go beyond our own limits too.
Our aspirations in love are not determined by limiting and imaginary beliefs. Instead, we are capable of finding the love that will overcome all the impossibilities of life and all the possible horizons together. I believe in couples who recognize each other and assume their individual and mutual responsibilities. I believe in couples who listen to each other and admit that love is as fragile as crystal. For this, we will have to work together and accompany each other on the way even if the trials scratch us and make us fall.
Learn to create a new version of love that will get rid of the ideal, of the fixed image that we impose on ourselves and that is the reflection of a society that no longer has the audacity to love with the heart in bulk sometimes too.
Dating sites have the advantage of offering you a wide range of identities, each one more attractive than the other, but there will certainly be one, the one who perhaps did not reveal himself completely, who will be able to answer your heart. This person will not be the ideal male, your double who thinks like you, but he will perhaps be this partner who will know how to listen to you and welcome you into his heart with sincerity.
