I met my love and he is 20 years older than me. | Effet Tandem
❄️ Keep warm this winter: Enjoy a 50% discount on your 6-month subscription and join our community of serious and verified singles ready to share unforgettable encounters right now! 💖

I met my love and he is 20 years older than me.

The age difference disturbs more than we can imagine. This is how we become aware that love is often put in boxes.

I met my love on a dating site and he is 20 years older than me.

People will tell you it's impossible. Some will even bet on how long you'll last as a couple. Dating someone older than you is the talk of the town. This is not the standard couple you are used to seeing sitting on a terrace. Very quickly, people will imagine that it is your father or your uncle and then when you give him a kiss on the mouth, people will look away and be embarrassed.
The age difference is more disturbing than you think. It also makes you realize that love is often pigeonholed. 

People have stereotypes and they don't realize how limiting these judgments and criticisms are. Because love is not an image to show to others. When you love someone and it is mutual, nothing can stop you from this common love. It will happen that you would never have imagined this person by your side years ago and yet today, it is her and no one else.

I met my love on a dating site and he is 20 years older than me.

I will tell you my story and you will understand how unpredictable love is sometimes and how it can be revealing for your life.

Three years ago, I came out of a love affair that completely destroyed me. I had lost all confidence in myself. This ex had drained me emotionally and I no longer had the desire to love. I doubted myself for everything. I couldn't make decisions in my life anymore and I let myself go without realizing that this person was dominating me.

Thanks to a friend, I realized that I was slowly dying and that my heart was broken into a million pieces.

I think I left in time before we had children together, before he ended up trapping me in his cage.

I was able to make that decision and run away from him.

I rebuilt myself over time. My celibacy allowed me to rest, to find my bearings that I had lost, and above all I regained a taste for life.

I learned to love myself by taking more care of myself. That's when I started to write in my notebooks.

And then, at a party with friends, I said that I would love to find someone to share some intimate moments with. Not live with this person but just share love.

That's when my friends advised me to register on a dating website. I didn't really believe in it and then, once you're there, you think it's not so bad. It allows us to talk to people and you don't have to commit yourself.

At the very beginning, I talked a lot with a guy my age. We had common interests and had a few dates that didn't go beyond friendship. I didn't feel that love at first sight deep inside.

It wasn't him.

Then, one morning, I received a message from André who told me: "When you love someone you always have something to say or write to them. Christian Bobin" Would you agree to start this journey together?

I must admit that at the time I thought it was a bit too much. I thought that he was a man who had seen that I liked to write, that I liked poetry and that he was therefore playing the intellectual card to seduce me.

I answered that this sentence was very pretty and that for the trip, I would like to know the person with whom I would take the plane.

And then the messages followed one another. Not only, very quickly, I realized that he was not a gigolo but that he was a sensitive and emotionally intelligent man.

Without having seen him on webcam yet, he was captivating me with his words.

After a few days of exchanging messages, we agreed to have a first virtual meeting via our cameras.

I will keep that moment forever in my memory. When I saw him behind the screen, my first reaction was to say to myself that I had not even asked him his age and there I noticed that he was older than me. After this quick observation, surprising when you don't expect it, my heart went wild. I said to myself: wow, what a man! How handsome, distinguished, charismatic!

We spent the night talking and I just wanted to see him!

We decided to meet the following weekend.

The days between us were frighteningly long. I lived only for this moment of meeting.

The D-day arrived and it was 3 years ago. We had a wonderful day.

Yes we sat at a restaurant table, people looked at us and thought he was much older than me. We kissed and laughed.

It's been 3 years since I met my love on a dating site who is 20 years older than me. 

What did you think of the article?

Nelly Delas

About Nelly Delas

Freelance writer, SEO specialist and writing and personal development coach


Are you ready to live the Effet Tandem experience?