On dating sites, we expect to meet love, it is well known. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Some people are not there just for the sweetness of it. They will use manipulative techniques that will make you vulnerable in love and cause you great pain. Gaslighting is a destructive manipulative technique that will eventually destroy you if you don't get out of this relationship hell spiral very quickly. What is gaslighting? How to get out of it?
What is gaslighting? How to spot it on a dating site?
Gaslighting is a mental manipulation technique used by narcissistic perverts. It means "deconstruction". Its principle is to manipulate you progressively by blowing hot and cold to install confusion in you.
Once this confusion is omnipresent, the Narcissistic Pervert can possess you and appear as the indispensable person. In this brainwashing, the victim loses all her bearings and becomes extremely vulnerable, which allows the manipulator to get the upper hand.
How does the confusion arise?
The gaslighter mixes criticism and praise. One minute he will be caring and gentle, the next he will be critical and belittling. There is a fine line between kindness and malice with this type of person. Actions and words that could be reassuring at a certain moment become disturbing when they become violent in the mouth or in the gestures of the same person.
On a dating site, you can therefore spot him by paying attention to the way he acts with you. If one day he is positive and full of love and the next day you become a less than nothing. Chances are, he's a fan of this kind of mental manipulation.
Everything may be perfect at first, but as time goes by you notice changes in your moods and it starts to get exhausting for you. You don't know what to do, how to handle this relationship. You even make excuses for her all the time. You are the one who is wrong and he is the one who is right. This is what he is trying to get into your brain.
There is nothing healthy about this manipulative technique. Because the final objective of the manipulator is indeed this one: that of progressively extinguishing you, of distancing you from those whom you liked to then become the only reference, the only reference point of your life; the savior in short.
It is also important to know that our survival strategy will make bursts in spite of everything. You will realize these destabilizing reproaches and you will not fail to point them out to him. But he will answer you that it is your fault and that your interpretation of the situation or of himself is wrong.
He may even tell you sometimes that you have memory problems if, for example, you refer to an event where he said or did that.
In front of others, he will always appear at first in absolute perfection. The lover in love with the care of his beautiful leaves no doubt that you are the one who is taken for a fool or a liar.
The principle of gaslighting is to make you feel guilty, to disturb your perception of things and to decentralize you little by little from the essential, namely from yourself.
How to get out of the clutches of a narcissistic pervert, of this mental manipulative technique on dating sites?
The dating site allows the distance of the gaslighter.
If you are in the early stages of your relationship, the dating site will allow you to do one essential thing even if it has been going on for months. The first thing is to gain some perspective on your love situation.
When you are in this type of relationship, it is important to stay in communication with your loved ones. Once you have read this article and recognized yourself as a victim of "deceleration," it is important to reach out to the people you trust.
Once you have re-established that connection in your life, ask them objectively to look at your relationship and tell you what they think. Their external analysis will help you understand what you are going through on the inside. Our friends and family can sincerely help us in this trying and painful relationship.
Then, when you find yourself undergoing this mental manipulative technique, it is essential to keep your secret garden, to continue to nourish your inner space in order not to capsize in your own ship.
