Many people believe that love at first sight is the only way to love and reject anyone who does not propel them into this state of intoxicating love. However, studies have shown that love at first sight has a rather short lifespan. It is better to bet on a long-lasting love and especially, to give it time to develop.
When you fall in love at first sight, your heart beats wildly, hands become sweaty, time seems to stand still, and are convinced that we have met the man or woman of our dreams. This tsunami of emotions overwhelms us and takes only a fifth of a second to occur. In fact, a study conducted by researchers at Syracuse University in New York showed that it takes less than a second to fall in love. However, is this love at first sight really a long-lasting love? Many psychologists and psychoanalysts dispute this, believing that love at first sight is only the brain distorting the data or, more precisely, the hormones.
Scientists have succeeded in analyzing the phenomenon: when we meet the person who plunges us in a second state, our brain releases hormones in 12 different parts of our brain. It produces large quantities of dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin and vasopressin, hormones that together form the feeling of love. This excessive and instantaneous production of hormones affects our complex cognitive functions, because our brain has just created an idealized mental image of the person we have just met, without any real foundation, of course, since we do not even know them. According to these scientists, this exaltation in love is similar to the effects produced by cocaine. Love at first sight would therefore be a slip of the brain and the biological effects of the love hormone would last at most 18 months which would completely disappear after four years. However, it is not because the butterflies in the stomach feeling have disappeared that the love is no longer there. As the hormones have stopped working, the relationship must take a new turn. However, the relationship is doomed fail if a true and lasting love has not been built during this period.
Give time to time
Love at first sight is not the only way to fall in love, and that's just as well, because if it is rare, sometimes it is not reciprocated. Other researchers have pointed out that we don't fall in love, but we do. Moreover, it takes a woman an average of five months to feel that they are in love, compared to three months for a man.
The French psychoanalyst Fabienne Kraemer agrees. She states that it takes 21 days to physiologically change something in our lives and that falling in love, is the same thing. Unfortunately, our society is in search of immediacy, we rarely give our relationships time to develop. Many people look for love at first sight and are disappointed when they don't find it, in turn, they multiply different encounters at a frantic and furtive pace.
However, love stories are built on exchanges. Therefore, shouldn't we give them a chance to develop their complicity? To do this, it is not only essential to plan several meetings during the month. Above all, it is imperative to avoid trying to develop more than one relationship at the same time, as this does not allow us to really invest ourselves with a person and greatly compromises our success in meeting our soul mate.