It is often said that our partner must also be our best friend, it is one of the bases to increase our intimacy. Intimacy is built day by day, it is daily, by increasing the quality of the basic roots of the couple that is strengthened. It requires to know each other enough to tell each other in a responsible way, that is to say without accusing the other, about what I am living, therefore to be in intimacy with myself. This is why some couples, who have shared their lives for many years, will say "more than yesterday but less than tomorrow".
The couple is a project that must be nourished. It likes to have love, respect, communication, responsible authenticity and trust on the menu. One can live in a couple for a long time and have no intimacy. A couple that does not have intimacy is a couple that has gaps in its roots. In short, it's about making your partner your best friend, your confidant, but respecting yourself through it.
The example I would like to bring here is the example I want to name of Michel, a fictitious name. Michel loves his partner deeply, but she doesn't want to have sexual relations since their first child, since her first pregnancy. Why is that? Because she doesn't think she's beautiful enough anymore, not attractive enough because of the stretch marks that have damaged her body, more weight, scars and all that, so she closes herself up, she makes all sorts of excuses not to have sex with her partner anymore. Michael, on the other hand, suffers because he loves Julie and accepts her as she is. Instead of running away and staying on their own, they could have expressed their needs, their fears, their emotions in this situation, they would have developed their intimacy as a couple and that would have opened the door to complicity.
