Since I was young, when I'm hungry, my reflex is to turn to mom or to go to the fridge. This is normal, isn't it? But when we refer to love, if I am hungry for love and my reflex is the same, to go and look outside of myself, understand that it places me in a relationship, in a state of emotional dependence on the other. To bring me to the other in a state of lack, that makes that the relation will be inevitably heavy, will be inevitably restrictive for the other. I will expect the other to feed me, I will expect the other to contribute to my happiness, I will expect the other to fill a deep lack of inner love. You understand that in this state of mind, what it creates between the other and me, it is something endearing, it is something restrictive and it is something heavy.
To be hungry for love means that I take the other for what he has to offer me, I take the other as the object of my desire, the one to be loved. If I want a harmonious relationship, if I want a relationship that is light and full of love and freedom, I need to start from a place in me that is already full of love. And how do I do that? First, with a lot of empathy. You know, when a friend comes to you to talk about their pain, what do you do? You take the time to sit next to him or her, you listen, you become available and you are there without judgment, with an open heart, with available ears, you offer them your time and you offer them your love.
To become in love with oneself is to take the time to sit with myself, to sit with those different parts of me that need to be heard, that need to be listened to, but above all that need to be loved with lightness, with freedom and above all with empathy. So to be in love with myself is to allow myself to go into the relationship with the other by being complete by myself. And the love of the other becomes a bonus or a premium.
So I invite you to take the time, take the time to celebrate, take the time to congratulate yourself. Nourishing yourself from within means doing things that you enjoy, that make you happy. Do you enjoy hiking in the forest? Go for it! Go listen to music? Visit a museum? Go ahead, take the time to do things that make you happy, take the time to celebrate. And in this way, you will be able to bring yourself to the other in a way where the love of the other will complement the love you already have for yourself.
