Discover the importance of being authentic and responsible in relationships. Being authentic means showing up in your vulnerability, not being weak or naive. It means showing up as I am in what affects me, but taking responsibility for what I am experiencing. Even if the other person is often the trigger of these discomforts, these wounds, these sufferings, I must understand that even if I feel wounded in the situation with the other person, it is not the other person who has grafted these emotions into me. It is the situation, it is the trigger that hurts me in my life and the reaction that I will have in front of it that will disturb me the most. The non-acceptance of the situation because I am triggered in my own wounds. The other is just the actor in all this.
Taking responsibility also means realizing that everything starts with me, that I always have the choice of how I react to events and that it is not anyone's fault, it is just an experience. It also means letting the other person take responsibility for his or her own emotions, he or she has the ability to deal with them. Stay with this conviction, otherwise we fall into guilt. We cannot be responsible for the emotion that the other person experiences or feels, even if we are the ones who are the actors and triggers. Taking on the suffering of the other is a burden that is very, very heavy to bear. If I try to save the other person, I prevent them from suffering, at least that's what I believe, I prevent them from learning the lesson they have to learn from this experience.
Take an example of small gestures in daily life, even if they are insignificant. The example I would like to bring here is that of Jacques Salomé. I found him very adequate with small gestures of daily life. He used to take the toothpaste paste, brush his teeth, but forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste tube. His wife would regularly come back and say, "You still haven't put the cap on the toothpaste. He couldn't understand the impact of this. One day, she decided to take care of her need, which meant she went to the pharmacy to buy another tube of toothpaste for herself, and she left him in charge of her tube of toothpaste that didn't have a cap on it. The next day, when he comes in to use her toothpaste and it's all dried up, he really gets it. Before, she was the one who cleaned him, so he didn't see the impact of his action. Now he saw it, so he put the cap on. That's how it was settled. All this conflict for a trivial situation.
