We will start from the concept that we are all interdependent, that we all have, to a greater or lesser degree, an emotional dependence. What I mean by this is that if we put on a scale of 1 to 10, some people have a dependence at 1 and others at 10. I've seen some people where it can go to 15 out of 10. All kidding aside, we all have some addiction, we're all interconnected and we're all dependent on each other. So, the first thing, I think, to realize is to stop believing that we are totally independent and that we don't need anyone. We would like to be, but it's a bit of a utopia.
What we are going to do today is to imagine that the human being is a bit like letters, 'O' and 'C'. When we are in the in-between, because I believe in reincarnation, and we make the choice to incarnate, and this is my only belief, I don't ask you to believe in this, we will just start from the concept that you are in the intra-uterine life, you are a perfect little being, you are what we call a small self-sufficient ball of light, not yet marked by life experiences. But already, in your mother's intrauterine life, you will start to experience things through your mother's emotions. And this is where your little 'O' will start to open up. You are going to enter into life independently of the parents that you will have had, of the brothers and sisters that you already have at home, the experiences that you are going to live, the environment in which you are going to be surrounded. You are going to live experiences and these experiences of life make that it opens your 'C'.
The open part is like a boo-boo in the air, it's like a wound. When you have an air boo-boo, it burns. And what do we do? We try to put a plaster on our wound. So in life, the reflex is that an individual will look for another individual who has of course the same opening to compensate for his inner wounds which come from his life experiences. And there, when there are two of us, we say to ourselves "oh my God, we are so good, we are one". And we have been sold the idea that we are one. The problem with that is that it compensates. It's great, but it has its limitations. The moment I start to work on myself or have adventures that make me work on myself, I start to close my "C". And then, what happens is that if my partner doesn't keep up with me, he becomes a little too energetic for me, I find that he lacks too much energy for what I am able to give. And often, it is there that we will see the separations. Here, in very rare cases, and it is possible, the two partners, when one will adjust, the other will also do it and we continue to function together. You can do that for a long time.
When there is a separation, what happens is I have two choices. I've closed my 'C', so my opening is less. I have two options: it stays a boo-boo in the air, or I tolerate that boo-boo in the air for a little while, it's uncomfortable, it hurts a little bit, but that's where personal development comes in. The more I take care of myself during this time, the more I continue to close my 'O'. Otherwise, what we tend to do is right away: I'm going to look for a patch that has the same opening and I'm going to get back together. I'll go another way, other things will happen, maybe it's with my spouse, my life partner who will close his 'C' and that will create the separation.
The idea, when we talk about emotional autonomy, is to be able to close our 'O' enough to be well with ourselves. Being well with oneself doesn't mean that I don't want to be with the other person or that I don't need to be with the other person, but my need is a need for sharing. And when I'm in emotional autonomy, the person I'm going to attract to me is going to be too. And then you can see what happens. It gives a sign of the infinite. That's when relationships become extraordinary, uplifting, fulfilling because we bring each other infinitely.
