What is it that makes me so excited to be on the Tandem Effect dating site and at the same time I feel so anxious about meeting someone new? If you ever have this question, if you ever have this state of mind, I just want to reassure you that it is completely normal. In caring communication, we like to remind people that in order to determine how I feel, I have to get out of my head, I have to leave my head and go into my body. Physical sensations, emotions and needs are found in the body.
So how do I explain that I can be excited and anxious at the same time? It's because there are two parts of me that are diametrically opposed in the way they experience. For example, I could be in my head totally excited about the idea of "I want to meet new people, I have the opportunity to start over, I have the opportunity to show myself in a better light to a new person", and meanwhile, I have a long part of me that says "oh my God, I don't want to jump into the experience, I feel nervous, I don't know if I'll be up to it" etc. So this ambivalence is simply two or more parts of me that need to be expressed.
How do I deal with this? It's very simple, I have to take the time to listen to what is being said. When my head is excited, when it says "yay!", deep down, what it's saying is "I have hope, I have a surge of hope, I have a surge of gratitude for these new possibilities that are there in front of me". And when a part of me is anxious, what it says is "oh I need to be reassured, I need to be listened to, I need to know that in the end, I'm going to be able to meet someone who will appreciate who I am". To get out of this state of ambivalence, what do I do? I listen to both sides, and then I put it all together, on one side the excitement and hope, on the other side the fear of judgment, the anxiety. I put that together and I say to myself, "Okay, those two states are there, they're normal, all I have to do is take it one step at a time.
I remind you, just before I leave you, that panic never solved anything. If you succumb to panic, to anxiety, it is sure that this is not how you will make beautiful encounters. So, listen to your head, listen to your heart, that will allow you to take a step forward and above all allow you to meet beautiful people.
